Saturday, July 31, 2010


this is a story about a young girl who fell in love with a young boy in 1994..they were in the same class but they hated each other.unfortunately they sat side by side in the class.
one day they had  the dreaded exam.the girl had terrible bout of flu during the exam she sat there and wrote and wrote the answers furiously.but even the box of tissues couldn't cope with the flu.reaching out for the tissue she realised it was all gone.
she felt apprehensive because she was not the type to go out in the middle of the exam.but the sneezing wouldn't stop.the young boy took pity on her and decided to give his packet of tissue to her.she turned to him,reached out for the tissue and mouthed silently thank you.
from then on,hate turned into love.and their love blossomed.but coming from different countries,their respective parents raised objections.
the young girl was very serious about her studies since she had always wanted to be a lawyer.but the young boy being the typical rich middle eastern person was not overly concerned about his future.he was bumming around and doing whatever he felt like doing.she continued to motivate him to do something and after years of motivation,he finally decided to pursue his tertiary education in america.
but he was torn.he didn't want to leave the love of his life.but the young lady insisted he must go.after months of debating the merits for him to go to san francisco university,he gave exchange she promised she would wait for him to come back to kuala lumpur once he was done with his this time the young lady had completed her degree.
he called her twice from san francisco.he told her he was lonely and he was missing the young lady.he said he was coming back immediately.the young lady didn't want him to make the wrong decision.the young lady wanted him to complete his studies and to become a responsible man.she knew she must do something to ensure he stayed in san francisco.knowing him so well, she knew that she must do something drastic to ensure he didn't come back prematurely.and so she told a lie.she said she was getting married to another man.she asked him to forget her.she asked him to study hard and make sure he would be successful one day.she loved him too much to allow him to waste his life on her..what the young boy was not aware of,the young lady had been warned off by the young boy's parents that they would never allow them to get married.his parents claimed that they would throw out their son if the relationship continued.the young lady would not allow the young boy to lose his parents.
he believed her lie.they never spoke to each other again.
years passed.she married someone else.she had never forgotten him.she kept track of his achievements.he did well in his university.he went on to work in san francisco refusing to go back to the middle eastern country.from mutual friends she found out that he was still a bachelor and was not even seeing anyone else.
she kept that packet of tissues he gave her in 1994.sometimes she would take it out and remembered him.that young sweet boy in 1994.that first love to which nothing is equal.
you see,that young girl was me.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

what kind of man on his death bed,when his children visited him,he was more concerned with saying negative things about his ex wife?the mother of the children!i don't understand the man.
my siblings dutifully visited him and they were asked to call the new wife as "mak" in order to visit him!as if the new wife has ever fed us rice or help to finance our education!he is dying and yet all he cares about is his new wife.
there were things he did to me when i was just 6.i won't go into details but suffice to say i will never expose my 7 year old daughter to him ever.i am ashamed to share his DNA!

Thursday, July 1, 2010


i never meant to start blogging with the title death...but yesterday my mom called to tell me that my biological dad is dying due to news on the specific type of cancer though.
u see my parents divorced when i was 6.i hardly knew him before i moved to kl.back then i was just a little girl growing up in tanjung piandang perak.a small fishing village is how u can describe the biological father was a headmaster for a secondary of the divorce shook the town with 2 different factions rooting for either my biological father or my mom.
then i moved to kl and my mom remarried.i only know my stepfather as my father.
i am numb..i don't know how to react to the news..i don't know him except for 1 letter he wrote to me when i asked him for permission to marry and asked him whether he would like to perform his fatherly duty as the wali.but he declined.
he wasn't there when i entered primary school.he wasn't there when i sat for UPSR.he wasn't there when i entered secondary school.he wasn't there when i sat for O-levels.he wasn't there when i attended my prom.he wasn't there when i sat for A-levels.he wasn't there when i decided to study law.he wasn't there when i graduated.he wasn't there for my wedding.he wasn't there when i gave birth to mia.
despite moving to kl i remained very close to my childhood nanny and her husband who would do the odd jobs when we were living in tanjung piandang.last year her husband died.i attended the funeral.after i parked the car and walked to the deceased's house,my biological father walked past me.he didn't say hello or even recognise me.sometimes i wonder whether he knows my name.
my mother asked me to forgive and forget and visit him if i wanted to.but i shall decline.