i never meant to start blogging with the title death...but yesterday my mom called to tell me that my biological dad is dying due to cancer.no news on the specific type of cancer though.
u see my parents divorced when i was 6.i hardly knew him before i moved to kl.back then i was just a little girl growing up in tanjung piandang perak.a small fishing village is how u can describe the place.my biological father was a headmaster for a secondary school.news of the divorce shook the town with 2 different factions rooting for either my biological father or my mom.
then i moved to kl and my mom remarried.i only know my stepfather as my father.
i am numb..i don't know how to react to the news..i don't know him except for 1 letter he wrote to me when i asked him for permission to marry and asked him whether he would like to perform his fatherly duty as the wali.but he declined.
he wasn't there when i entered primary school.he wasn't there when i sat for UPSR.he wasn't there when i entered secondary school.he wasn't there when i sat for O-levels.he wasn't there when i attended my prom.he wasn't there when i sat for A-levels.he wasn't there when i decided to study law.he wasn't there when i graduated.he wasn't there for my wedding.he wasn't there when i gave birth to mia.
despite moving to kl i remained very close to my childhood nanny and her husband who would do the odd jobs when we were living in tanjung piandang.last year her husband died.i attended the funeral.after i parked the car and walked to the deceased's house,my biological father walked past me.he didn't say hello or even recognise me.sometimes i wonder whether he knows my name.
my mother asked me to forgive and forget and visit him if i wanted to.but i shall decline.